My son is named Jack Henry. He is Jack after my Father and Henry after his other Grand Father. Sadly, Henry died before I met my husband so the little I know about him is only what my husband has told Jack and I, but it’s my Father I really want to talk about.
My Dad was fifty four years old when I was born. I was always told that my Mum and Dad wanted to call me Veronica. Luckily I had a lucky escape there. He died when I was thirteen years old from lung cancer. What I really remember so well, and will stay with me until I die is the night of his death. I know, we all remember the night of a loved once’s death, but for me it was different. It was the way my Mother treated me.
That’s right. My Mother. The one person who should have loved me, comforted me, held me, but no. She didn’t. When I tell people how I hated my Mother – they say you can’t hate you Mother. Oh yes I can. Believe me, I can, I do and I always will because of that one night.
We had a telephone call, which I gather was to tell us that Dad was dying and for her to go to the hospital. My Uncle came to get here and they left me with my Auntie. No one told me anything. Just that I was with my Auntie, so obviously I was happy and smiling. Well, you tend to be when no-one tells you anything and I adored spending time with my Auntie Flo. Much later everyone came back, and what did I do. Happy and laughing, I said Hello Mum – how’s Daddy. Did you give him my love???.
With that, she gave me one look – lifted her hand, smacked me so hard around the face, that she send me spinning across the floor, that thankfully another man who was with her caught me.
“He’s dead” she hissed “You killed him”
I went hysterical. I was thirteen years old. In my eyes I had killed the Dad I adored. My Mother had done what she always did. It was all about her. People surrounded her. I stood in that room, shaking, biting my nails down to the quick. Thankfully I had other Family Members who created a shield around me. That shield lasted for a very long time. As they say forever and a day and forever is forever.
I have a son of my own now. We have a shield and our shield will be our forever shield.